Not Posting...

Because I am NOT LOSING> Same weight different month. Bah Humbug.

Monday:

Yes, I actually tried to do all of these positions...The thing with Pilates - you have to hold the position for entirely too long - so you feel the pain and think about the pain which makes you REALLY feel the pain! UGH! I try and chant in my head over powering the pain "No flappy skin. Skinny thighs. Skinny arms. Tone belly". Yeah, it doesn't really work.


Tuesday:

This muscle building class was a combo of step and weights - equally as hard but faster paced which helps with the burn a little. Well, I take that back... But at least the music was loud.

I hate them both enough to know that they are working - and love it enough to go back! Skinny arms - Here I Come!!!

I am down 45 pounds! THAT IS HUGE!!!! HUMONGOUS HUGE!

I have been more aware lately of my "sigh spot". I know that I can eat well past the point of fullness. Not fantastic - but not bad if I realise when to stop.

Exercise resumes soon. I am waiting on a friend to return from vacation and we are starting a new gym. Curves isn't doing it for me anymore. Classes here I come! Yoga, Pilates, Dance... Can't wait!

Willpower? NOPE.

All of this is in my house RIGHT NOW.What do you think I do?

I start by eating a handful of those edamame nuts, packed with protein, then wash them down with a handful of those delicious peanut butter M&Ms. Because lets face it - the M&Ms are WAY BETTER - and doesn't peanut butter have protein, too?

No wonder I can't lose any weight.

Forever the Same

I am not losing weight. I am down 4 measly pounds since January - it's April! I got a fill and dropped those 4. Then back at my plateau...
I need another fill. It is the only answer. I watch my calories, I exercise and nothing. Honestly, I haven't been to the gym in a week - what's the point? I'm not losing either way.
I know, I know, the point is to be 'stronger' 'healthier' but really, if that was all that I needed to be motivated to work out - I wouldn't have needed to get the lapband. I am motivated (at least at this point) by weight loss - or at the very least, dress size loss.
I hesitate to get a fill because I throw up a lot. Not a lot -lot, but often enough. On average, about every other day. That's enough to not want another fill. Whatever - I'm doing it. Now to find the time to drive up to Snowflake...

More than meets the eye

So I have been at a stand still. No weight loss - but NO GAIN! Even through Valentine's Day! YIPPEE!

I did however have a doctor's appointment last week and guess what? I am down 48lbs from last March! That totally counts, right? I may have only lost 35 since surgery - but I forgot about that 10lbs prior... AND THAT 10 COUNTS, TOO!

For some reason, I feel skinnier... I get a fill in 2 days, there will be fabulous weight loss to report soon!

Not Posting

I am not. I refuse. No way. No how. I will not post it on the house, I will not post it with a mouse. I will not post it here or there, I will not post it anywhere!

I refuse to post my current weight in the sidebar.
R-E-F-U-S-E!

My weight. insert throat-y disgusted gurgle There is one word for it. STUCK. Plateau doesn't describe it. STUCK. I am back up to 250 and holding.

I don't understand it. I am still losing something, my clothes are falling off. Even the skinny ones that I bought tight just before Christmas are loose.


Whatever - weight is irrelevant. Skinnier is skinner - regardless of the numbers! So my scale can suck-it!

So, I heard a little rumor the other day...

I heard that if you begin working out, and you are not typically accustomed to doing so, your body holds on to all of those calories because it thinks you will be needing them to sustain you during that increased usage. Therefore you do not lose weight. So,(here's the catch) if you work out for a couple of weeks then take a week off you will drop that weight because your body realises that it doesn't need to hang on to those calories anymore.

Really? I guess there is some (maybe) merit to that. My body has followed that pattern. The entire time I am working out, I am remaining the same, aka plateauing. When I take a break for a little bit, aka Christmas in Utah, I drop significantly.

Weird. Where's Snopes.com when you need them?

Down again?

What the heck? I am down again...

Now don't get me wrong - I LOVE IT! But I am totally confused. I work out and work out, watch what I eat and NOTHING. I eat like crazy, hardly work out and BAM! I lose!
The only way to make sense of this craziness is to realise that my body plateaus then drops, plateaus and then drops. I will try and keep that in mind when I am on the next plateau.

Regardless, I am down again! YIPPEE! I have also made the discovery that my bathrobe weighs 2 lbs - yep, you heard me - 2lbs. I am NEVER weighing in that thing again. Naked is the only way to go - flappy skin and all.

Merry Christmas To Me

Well, we're home from visiting family for the holidays and believe it or not - I've got FANTASTIC NEWS!

Despite all the goodies - I am down to 247.4! Woo Hoo! Gotta LOVE the Lap-band!!!

I admit to eating more than I should. I admit to eating some (extremely) high calorie snacks when I wasn't hungry. I had made the goal to NOT GAIN over the holidays. I had succumbed to the fact that I wouldn't lose, I just didn't want to gain.

BUT... I did lose! I lost weight through it all!

I tried to make some conscious choices to benefit my weight loss throughout the week. I made chocolate covered popcorn instead of chocolate covered truffles. I made easy peanut butter fudge (crunchy peanut butter, white chocolate and milk chocolate) instead of those yummy peanut butter balls (peanut butter, pounds of powdered sugar & butter and then dipped in chocolate). Santa brought more dark chocolate than anything else (I don't love dark chocolate and everyone else does) - Thanks Santa!

I had a protein drink everyday for breakfast to be sure I got in all the 'good stuff' that I needed to Joyfully carryout my Christmas duties.

I made it. I did it. I am home and back on the wagon... whew! I love Christmas - but most of all, I love that I can STILL love Christmas, even with the lap-band!

Happy Holidays!

Thanksgiving...Christmas...New Year's...OH MY!

I am still losing, however very slowly. On average one pound a week. I weighed and measured at Curves (my gym) and after only three weeks, I was down 4 pounds and 1 inch in each of my measurements. They measure one arm and thigh then double it for total loss in each area. So technically only 1/2 inch in each arm and leg - but I am totally taking it!

I lost 1 inch around my bust (not overly thrilled about that one). 1 inch each in my abdomen (waist) and hips (which is really my butt - they put it around the "fullest part" aka my butt).

I love it! I would love to be down further in pounds - but I tell myself that I am adding muscle which weighs more than fat... Whatever the reason, I feel more energized. I feel stronger. I love my new life! If I can make it through this entire holiday season NOT gaining weight - I will be THRILLED!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Amped Up!

After feeling overly sluggish on Tuesday, I woke up Wednesday and drank some of that "Protein Power" juice from Fresh & Easy. I felt like a new woman.
It is packed full of vitamins and protein. Just the pick-me-up that my body was lacking.
Yahoo for small (easy) fixes!

zzzzzzzz........

Could I possibly be any more drained? Seriously. I could nap all day and still go to bed by 10:00. NOT GOOD.

Could it be my depression coming back? They say excessive sleep is the first symptom to show and the last to go away. It is winter and even in Arizona the days are significantly shorter - and I need my sunshine!

Could it be a lack of proper nutrients? Am I low on protein, or vitamins? I haven't been drinking my protein juice or taking my vitamins.

Am I fighting off some kind of flu/cold? I feel fine, but maybe my body needs the rest to ward off the bugs?

Am I just lazy? Sure. We all are some days. But I love to go out. I love to shop - and I haven't had the desire to do either. Not a good sign.

I bought a protein juice from Fresh and Easy last night. I thought I would try that route first thing in the morning. I am unable to really eat anything before 11:00am so the drink may be the answer.

The gym is impossible. Getting up at 5:45 is not happening in this moment. I forced myself out of bed Monday and Tuesday - get up get going, it will make you feel better. NOT. I just felt more tired.

Sigh. On the upside. I am feeling better this morning. I had 1/2 of my protein drink and definitely feel less groggy. (It was delicious by the way. I could hardly taste the powder.) Maybe by tomorrow I will be myself again.

250.4

250.4 ------------ 250.4 ------------ 250.4

Can I say it enough? NO 250.4! I am giddy. I had been "stuck" forever, got my first fill, went down (kind-of) and then found myself "stuck" once again.

I was working out, tracking my calories - nothing.

So I tweaked my fill ever so slightly. I am now at 1.5cc and it is fabulous. I don't feel hungry. I can tell that my body is ready to eat, but it isn't that 'oh I'm starving' feeling. I love, love, love it! AND I am down...finally!
Woo Hoo!

Weights and Measures

I am back at Curves, working out, after a sabbatical due to my back killing me...again...

I have officially been there 6 weeks - even though I have not worked out for the past 3 - so time to get weighed and measured!
I couldn't wait!

Here are the "Official Results"
Bust +1"
Waist -2.25"
Hips -1.5"
Thighs (together) -5"
Arms (together) -1"
Weight -7lbs
Body Fat % -0.7%

I am disappointed in the weight - but expected as much. I waited too long to get a fill. The 'bust' measurement can't be right because my bras are defiantly looser. I have gone to the last set of hooks on the back (used to be on the first ones)and the cups are not 'filled out' as they were before. There is room for error as the gal that measured today is not the same person that did it last time - but you know what? I will totally take it!

A long time 'a-comin!

I haven't posted in 4-ever. Because I hadn't lost any weight in 4-ever! Agonizing! :(
Let me catch you up...

I made the decision to head to Snowflake and get a fill from my lap-band buddy's older brother who is a nurse and has been trained on how to do fills. He does about 10 people in the area, including his wife and (now) both of his sisters. Easy right? Well, not so much. See I am a passer-outer. I ALWAYS pass out when I get a shot or have blood drawn. Needless to say, I had my reservations. But I really thought that because the fill was going into my band and not my body that I would be fine. I think that sensation of the foreign substance mixing with my bloodstream, triggers my -lets call it - "lack of awareness..."

But I have to say - IT WAS EASY! EASY, EASY, EASY!!! I barely felt the needle and it was over in an instant. Shiela had a little harder time because her port was tilted (which is normal) and he had to "find" the center of it. Which means that when he stuck the needle in, he hit the outer metal ring and then had to move the needle (without removing it) around until he hit the 'fleshy' center part - ewwww... Thank goodness for small miracles - like hardly tilted ports!

It has been a success. I am now losing weight on a daily basis. It did take a good 5-6 days post fill for the weight loss to kick in. But it is back on track. I am re-learning how to eat (slow and small) but I love it! I feel full again. I don't crave snacks again. I am down again! What in the heck was I waiting for???

To fill or not to fill...That is the Question

I haven't been losing weight. I am back in the dreaded plateau. I bounce between 256 lbs and 261 lbs. I can eat an entire sandwich (toasted bread). I was certain that I needed a fill, until this morning when I was back down at the 256 mark. sigh.

I am encouraged (and confused) by the continuing compliments. My friends - the honest ones - think I am continuing to look smaller, even without the weight loss. I feel as though I am continuing to lose inches. For example, I tried on everything in my closet 2 weeks ago. I kept 3 pairs of jeans that were slightly snug with the thought that I would be able to wear them throughout the winter. Nope. The weather cooled late this week and when I put them on, they were too big. I wore them anyway but spent the day tugging them up. All the while not losing any pounds.

I am confused. I am not losing pounds, but inches. I am eating more than I think I should be able to. Do I fill or wait? I have been tracking my caloric intake to be certain that I am not exceeding the recommended 600-800 daily calories - and I am right on target. I haven't been able to workout (only once last week) due to back pain. I am getting another injection in my back on Thursday and the doctor says that I should be up and moving again in a couple of weeks.

sigh... What to do, what to do... Either way, I am wearing a smaller size and that is something to celebrate. I am still heading in the right direction and have had the opportunity to talk with several women who are interested in making this change in their lives. I love my band! I would do it again in a heartbeat. It is totally worth it!

The Difference A Day Makes

Yesterday I blogged about my struggle with the dreaded "plateau". Today I am here to report that I have officially surpassed the 25lb mark. This morning I weighed and was down about .6lbs. I then weighed after my shower (around 10:30) and was down 2 more pounds! Woo Hoo! I must learn to be more patient with my band.

I know, it's been awhile. I am just in a rut, otherwise known as a "plateau". Whatever you call it, I am going nowhere. Which is frustrating because I work out everyday.

I am trying to stay focused on the positives.

I went through my closet this past weekend and tried on everything. I will shamefully admit that I had several outfits still hanging in my closet that I had not been able to wear for some time. I was just unwilling to admit that I wouldn't get back into them (denial). But guess what - they fit me! All of my cute new clothes that I bought at the beginning of summer don't fit. People tell me they are hanging on me "like a tent". It's fantastic really, but I hate it. That's my good stuff. What's left is workout clothes and jeans. Blegh. It's too hot for jeans.

The other BIGGIE: After getting out of the shower last night, I wrapped a towel around myself. ??? All of my skinny friends are sitting in total confusion. ??? See, when you're "bigger" a normal towel won't wrap around you. It gaps in all the wrong places. You have the choice of having it gape in the front exposing too much or in the back (also exposing things that should otherwise be covered). I have always opted to have the opening on the side - who cares if my hip hangs out...

Last night - the towel closed! It wrapped around me and actually touched! Granted, I couldn't walk anywhere. But when I stood up straight - it touched! And it wasn't even a beach towel - it was a bona fide, normal sized bath towel! Thank goodness for small miracles, they keep us going.

Early Bird?

For those of you who know me, it doesn't come as much of a surprise when I say that I am not a fan of mornings. My body works on a clock that doesn't want to start until 10:00am and wraps up around 12:30-1:00am. However, life doesn't really care what my body's clock wants. It wants me to get up and moving at 6:45am and continue to go until 10:30pm at which time I am required to shut down.

I've adjusted somewhat over the years, but never been totally thrilled about it.

The thing is, I am now trying to fit a workout into my mornings. This isn't as easy as it should be. My mornings are booked solid from 6:45 - 8:00am. So the 8:00 time should be working, right? Wrong. Yesterday, my workout partner, and lap-band buddy - Shiela, had a meeting bright and early. So we went at 5:45am. A-M! Today, the air conditioning repair man is coming to my house sometime between 8:30 and 9:00am. So again, we worked out at 5:45am.

Yep, me the habitual morning Grinch has been up 2 days in a row to e-x-e-r-c-i-s-e. No, I don't feel good about it. No, I don't feel more energized or organized or whatever. I just feel tired. I can hardly keep my eyes from closing as I sit at this computer. Man, I need a nap!

The only benefit of getting up and moving in the middle of the night (it is still night at 5:45am - it's DARK. Dark = Night) is the fact that at that hour I totally weigh less. Now if I could only remember to weigh myself...