I know, it's been awhile. I am just in a rut, otherwise known as a "plateau". Whatever you call it, I am going nowhere. Which is frustrating because I work out everyday.

I am trying to stay focused on the positives.

I went through my closet this past weekend and tried on everything. I will shamefully admit that I had several outfits still hanging in my closet that I had not been able to wear for some time. I was just unwilling to admit that I wouldn't get back into them (denial). But guess what - they fit me! All of my cute new clothes that I bought at the beginning of summer don't fit. People tell me they are hanging on me "like a tent". It's fantastic really, but I hate it. That's my good stuff. What's left is workout clothes and jeans. Blegh. It's too hot for jeans.

The other BIGGIE: After getting out of the shower last night, I wrapped a towel around myself. ??? All of my skinny friends are sitting in total confusion. ??? See, when you're "bigger" a normal towel won't wrap around you. It gaps in all the wrong places. You have the choice of having it gape in the front exposing too much or in the back (also exposing things that should otherwise be covered). I have always opted to have the opening on the side - who cares if my hip hangs out...

Last night - the towel closed! It wrapped around me and actually touched! Granted, I couldn't walk anywhere. But when I stood up straight - it touched! And it wasn't even a beach towel - it was a bona fide, normal sized bath towel! Thank goodness for small miracles, they keep us going.

Early Bird?

For those of you who know me, it doesn't come as much of a surprise when I say that I am not a fan of mornings. My body works on a clock that doesn't want to start until 10:00am and wraps up around 12:30-1:00am. However, life doesn't really care what my body's clock wants. It wants me to get up and moving at 6:45am and continue to go until 10:30pm at which time I am required to shut down.

I've adjusted somewhat over the years, but never been totally thrilled about it.

The thing is, I am now trying to fit a workout into my mornings. This isn't as easy as it should be. My mornings are booked solid from 6:45 - 8:00am. So the 8:00 time should be working, right? Wrong. Yesterday, my workout partner, and lap-band buddy - Shiela, had a meeting bright and early. So we went at 5:45am. A-M! Today, the air conditioning repair man is coming to my house sometime between 8:30 and 9:00am. So again, we worked out at 5:45am.

Yep, me the habitual morning Grinch has been up 2 days in a row to e-x-e-r-c-i-s-e. No, I don't feel good about it. No, I don't feel more energized or organized or whatever. I just feel tired. I can hardly keep my eyes from closing as I sit at this computer. Man, I need a nap!

The only benefit of getting up and moving in the middle of the night (it is still night at 5:45am - it's DARK. Dark = Night) is the fact that at that hour I totally weigh less. Now if I could only remember to weigh myself...

Poof! It's Gone.

I haven't weighed in a few days. I forget. Maybe I just don't want to see the scale go up one minute and down the next (OK, so I don't mind the down).

So finally this afternoon I got on and held my breath...

258.6!!! I am in the 250's! I know, that is still REALLY heavy. But man oh man does it feel good! No longer am I pushing 300! My clothes are hanging on me. Everyday my friends comment on the "new me"! They are incredibly supportive and encouraging. They make me feel fantastic about myself.

I must admit that I am excited to see my family. My brothers don't know that I had the surgery. I decided to surprise them. I love them dearly and we have a fantastic relationship. It is hard not to confide in them or to call them up and share my newest weight-loss news with them, but I can't wait to see them in June of next year and be down almost 100lbs. That SHOCK will be worth the wait! :)

My parents and sister know about the surgery (and they know to keep it quiet around the boys) but they haven't seen me either. I know, it's a little silly, but really already I am down over 22lbs! That has made a big difference in my appearance. I can't wait to show off the new me!

I am also thrilled to see my in-laws in December. My sweet, sweet sister-in-law and her husband were the ones to make the surgery possible so soon. Our plan was to wait until tax returns next spring, but they offered to cover the cost of our vacation together allowing me to have the surgery so soon!

How did I get so lucky? I have unbelievable support from my family and friends. I couldn't do this without them. I know that they love me regardless of what size I am. They do not love me any more or less because of my weight - they just want me to be healthy and happy. They are such a blessing to me.

Finally!

Back down the full 20lbs and then some! I've been to Curves 3 times this week (everyday since we've joined) and I really think it is helping. The entire time I am on a machine all I can think is "get rid of flabby skin, get rid of flabby skin" and it makes me work even harder...

I Have Owned It...

OK. I am owning it. Throwing it out there. Proclaiming it to the world. I have gained weight. There I said it. Not only did I say it, but I have posted it in the sidebar. There. Done.

On the up: I had gained 5 on vacation and now I am only up 1.2lbs :) Baby steps!

Somebody's lyin'

So I joined Curves today. One of the things I was looking forward to was being measured. Weird, I know. But I haven't taken my measurements since the day of surgery and I am dying to find out what the new numbers are!

So according to the lady at Curves I am down in all areas, except my arms. Maybe I am imagining things, but I think my arms are smaller. My shirt sleeves are looser - I've gone down a size for cryin' out loud! I know not everyone measures the same. So who do I believe? Is the Curves lady's measurements higher than the hospital's?

I have decided that I am going with that. The lady at Curves measures bigger than the hospital. With that in mind...

I am down in all areas! YES! (Isn't it great how I can twist things to work in my favor? It's a gift.)

The Vacation is OVER

So I went on solid foods and then headed to Rocky Point, Mexico for 6 days...and gained 5 pounds. Notice that I did not post my weight on the sidebar. I figure - 'oh well' at least I know I can lose it.

I think the problem came from the choices of food. I didn't ever order my own meal, I just ate off of everybody's plate - a shrimp here, a shrimp there. So my week consisted of lots and lots of fried shrimp. Coconut fried shrimp, deep fried shrimp, fried shrimp in orange sauce. All yummy. All fried. As of yesterday (one day back) I had dropped 3 of the 5. Whew. Back on target.

Early next week I am joining Curves. So let the workout begin!