Merry Christmas To Me

Well, we're home from visiting family for the holidays and believe it or not - I've got FANTASTIC NEWS!

Despite all the goodies - I am down to 247.4! Woo Hoo! Gotta LOVE the Lap-band!!!

I admit to eating more than I should. I admit to eating some (extremely) high calorie snacks when I wasn't hungry. I had made the goal to NOT GAIN over the holidays. I had succumbed to the fact that I wouldn't lose, I just didn't want to gain.

BUT... I did lose! I lost weight through it all!

I tried to make some conscious choices to benefit my weight loss throughout the week. I made chocolate covered popcorn instead of chocolate covered truffles. I made easy peanut butter fudge (crunchy peanut butter, white chocolate and milk chocolate) instead of those yummy peanut butter balls (peanut butter, pounds of powdered sugar & butter and then dipped in chocolate). Santa brought more dark chocolate than anything else (I don't love dark chocolate and everyone else does) - Thanks Santa!

I had a protein drink everyday for breakfast to be sure I got in all the 'good stuff' that I needed to Joyfully carryout my Christmas duties.

I made it. I did it. I am home and back on the wagon... whew! I love Christmas - but most of all, I love that I can STILL love Christmas, even with the lap-band!

Happy Holidays!

Thanksgiving...Christmas...New Year's...OH MY!

I am still losing, however very slowly. On average one pound a week. I weighed and measured at Curves (my gym) and after only three weeks, I was down 4 pounds and 1 inch in each of my measurements. They measure one arm and thigh then double it for total loss in each area. So technically only 1/2 inch in each arm and leg - but I am totally taking it!

I lost 1 inch around my bust (not overly thrilled about that one). 1 inch each in my abdomen (waist) and hips (which is really my butt - they put it around the "fullest part" aka my butt).

I love it! I would love to be down further in pounds - but I tell myself that I am adding muscle which weighs more than fat... Whatever the reason, I feel more energized. I feel stronger. I love my new life! If I can make it through this entire holiday season NOT gaining weight - I will be THRILLED!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Amped Up!

After feeling overly sluggish on Tuesday, I woke up Wednesday and drank some of that "Protein Power" juice from Fresh & Easy. I felt like a new woman.
It is packed full of vitamins and protein. Just the pick-me-up that my body was lacking.
Yahoo for small (easy) fixes!

zzzzzzzz........

Could I possibly be any more drained? Seriously. I could nap all day and still go to bed by 10:00. NOT GOOD.

Could it be my depression coming back? They say excessive sleep is the first symptom to show and the last to go away. It is winter and even in Arizona the days are significantly shorter - and I need my sunshine!

Could it be a lack of proper nutrients? Am I low on protein, or vitamins? I haven't been drinking my protein juice or taking my vitamins.

Am I fighting off some kind of flu/cold? I feel fine, but maybe my body needs the rest to ward off the bugs?

Am I just lazy? Sure. We all are some days. But I love to go out. I love to shop - and I haven't had the desire to do either. Not a good sign.

I bought a protein juice from Fresh and Easy last night. I thought I would try that route first thing in the morning. I am unable to really eat anything before 11:00am so the drink may be the answer.

The gym is impossible. Getting up at 5:45 is not happening in this moment. I forced myself out of bed Monday and Tuesday - get up get going, it will make you feel better. NOT. I just felt more tired.

Sigh. On the upside. I am feeling better this morning. I had 1/2 of my protein drink and definitely feel less groggy. (It was delicious by the way. I could hardly taste the powder.) Maybe by tomorrow I will be myself again.

250.4

250.4 ------------ 250.4 ------------ 250.4

Can I say it enough? NO 250.4! I am giddy. I had been "stuck" forever, got my first fill, went down (kind-of) and then found myself "stuck" once again.

I was working out, tracking my calories - nothing.

So I tweaked my fill ever so slightly. I am now at 1.5cc and it is fabulous. I don't feel hungry. I can tell that my body is ready to eat, but it isn't that 'oh I'm starving' feeling. I love, love, love it! AND I am down...finally!
Woo Hoo!

Weights and Measures

I am back at Curves, working out, after a sabbatical due to my back killing me...again...

I have officially been there 6 weeks - even though I have not worked out for the past 3 - so time to get weighed and measured!
I couldn't wait!

Here are the "Official Results"
Bust +1"
Waist -2.25"
Hips -1.5"
Thighs (together) -5"
Arms (together) -1"
Weight -7lbs
Body Fat % -0.7%

I am disappointed in the weight - but expected as much. I waited too long to get a fill. The 'bust' measurement can't be right because my bras are defiantly looser. I have gone to the last set of hooks on the back (used to be on the first ones)and the cups are not 'filled out' as they were before. There is room for error as the gal that measured today is not the same person that did it last time - but you know what? I will totally take it!

A long time 'a-comin!

I haven't posted in 4-ever. Because I hadn't lost any weight in 4-ever! Agonizing! :(
Let me catch you up...

I made the decision to head to Snowflake and get a fill from my lap-band buddy's older brother who is a nurse and has been trained on how to do fills. He does about 10 people in the area, including his wife and (now) both of his sisters. Easy right? Well, not so much. See I am a passer-outer. I ALWAYS pass out when I get a shot or have blood drawn. Needless to say, I had my reservations. But I really thought that because the fill was going into my band and not my body that I would be fine. I think that sensation of the foreign substance mixing with my bloodstream, triggers my -lets call it - "lack of awareness..."

But I have to say - IT WAS EASY! EASY, EASY, EASY!!! I barely felt the needle and it was over in an instant. Shiela had a little harder time because her port was tilted (which is normal) and he had to "find" the center of it. Which means that when he stuck the needle in, he hit the outer metal ring and then had to move the needle (without removing it) around until he hit the 'fleshy' center part - ewwww... Thank goodness for small miracles - like hardly tilted ports!

It has been a success. I am now losing weight on a daily basis. It did take a good 5-6 days post fill for the weight loss to kick in. But it is back on track. I am re-learning how to eat (slow and small) but I love it! I feel full again. I don't crave snacks again. I am down again! What in the heck was I waiting for???

To fill or not to fill...That is the Question

I haven't been losing weight. I am back in the dreaded plateau. I bounce between 256 lbs and 261 lbs. I can eat an entire sandwich (toasted bread). I was certain that I needed a fill, until this morning when I was back down at the 256 mark. sigh.

I am encouraged (and confused) by the continuing compliments. My friends - the honest ones - think I am continuing to look smaller, even without the weight loss. I feel as though I am continuing to lose inches. For example, I tried on everything in my closet 2 weeks ago. I kept 3 pairs of jeans that were slightly snug with the thought that I would be able to wear them throughout the winter. Nope. The weather cooled late this week and when I put them on, they were too big. I wore them anyway but spent the day tugging them up. All the while not losing any pounds.

I am confused. I am not losing pounds, but inches. I am eating more than I think I should be able to. Do I fill or wait? I have been tracking my caloric intake to be certain that I am not exceeding the recommended 600-800 daily calories - and I am right on target. I haven't been able to workout (only once last week) due to back pain. I am getting another injection in my back on Thursday and the doctor says that I should be up and moving again in a couple of weeks.

sigh... What to do, what to do... Either way, I am wearing a smaller size and that is something to celebrate. I am still heading in the right direction and have had the opportunity to talk with several women who are interested in making this change in their lives. I love my band! I would do it again in a heartbeat. It is totally worth it!

The Difference A Day Makes

Yesterday I blogged about my struggle with the dreaded "plateau". Today I am here to report that I have officially surpassed the 25lb mark. This morning I weighed and was down about .6lbs. I then weighed after my shower (around 10:30) and was down 2 more pounds! Woo Hoo! I must learn to be more patient with my band.

I know, it's been awhile. I am just in a rut, otherwise known as a "plateau". Whatever you call it, I am going nowhere. Which is frustrating because I work out everyday.

I am trying to stay focused on the positives.

I went through my closet this past weekend and tried on everything. I will shamefully admit that I had several outfits still hanging in my closet that I had not been able to wear for some time. I was just unwilling to admit that I wouldn't get back into them (denial). But guess what - they fit me! All of my cute new clothes that I bought at the beginning of summer don't fit. People tell me they are hanging on me "like a tent". It's fantastic really, but I hate it. That's my good stuff. What's left is workout clothes and jeans. Blegh. It's too hot for jeans.

The other BIGGIE: After getting out of the shower last night, I wrapped a towel around myself. ??? All of my skinny friends are sitting in total confusion. ??? See, when you're "bigger" a normal towel won't wrap around you. It gaps in all the wrong places. You have the choice of having it gape in the front exposing too much or in the back (also exposing things that should otherwise be covered). I have always opted to have the opening on the side - who cares if my hip hangs out...

Last night - the towel closed! It wrapped around me and actually touched! Granted, I couldn't walk anywhere. But when I stood up straight - it touched! And it wasn't even a beach towel - it was a bona fide, normal sized bath towel! Thank goodness for small miracles, they keep us going.

Early Bird?

For those of you who know me, it doesn't come as much of a surprise when I say that I am not a fan of mornings. My body works on a clock that doesn't want to start until 10:00am and wraps up around 12:30-1:00am. However, life doesn't really care what my body's clock wants. It wants me to get up and moving at 6:45am and continue to go until 10:30pm at which time I am required to shut down.

I've adjusted somewhat over the years, but never been totally thrilled about it.

The thing is, I am now trying to fit a workout into my mornings. This isn't as easy as it should be. My mornings are booked solid from 6:45 - 8:00am. So the 8:00 time should be working, right? Wrong. Yesterday, my workout partner, and lap-band buddy - Shiela, had a meeting bright and early. So we went at 5:45am. A-M! Today, the air conditioning repair man is coming to my house sometime between 8:30 and 9:00am. So again, we worked out at 5:45am.

Yep, me the habitual morning Grinch has been up 2 days in a row to e-x-e-r-c-i-s-e. No, I don't feel good about it. No, I don't feel more energized or organized or whatever. I just feel tired. I can hardly keep my eyes from closing as I sit at this computer. Man, I need a nap!

The only benefit of getting up and moving in the middle of the night (it is still night at 5:45am - it's DARK. Dark = Night) is the fact that at that hour I totally weigh less. Now if I could only remember to weigh myself...

Poof! It's Gone.

I haven't weighed in a few days. I forget. Maybe I just don't want to see the scale go up one minute and down the next (OK, so I don't mind the down).

So finally this afternoon I got on and held my breath...

258.6!!! I am in the 250's! I know, that is still REALLY heavy. But man oh man does it feel good! No longer am I pushing 300! My clothes are hanging on me. Everyday my friends comment on the "new me"! They are incredibly supportive and encouraging. They make me feel fantastic about myself.

I must admit that I am excited to see my family. My brothers don't know that I had the surgery. I decided to surprise them. I love them dearly and we have a fantastic relationship. It is hard not to confide in them or to call them up and share my newest weight-loss news with them, but I can't wait to see them in June of next year and be down almost 100lbs. That SHOCK will be worth the wait! :)

My parents and sister know about the surgery (and they know to keep it quiet around the boys) but they haven't seen me either. I know, it's a little silly, but really already I am down over 22lbs! That has made a big difference in my appearance. I can't wait to show off the new me!

I am also thrilled to see my in-laws in December. My sweet, sweet sister-in-law and her husband were the ones to make the surgery possible so soon. Our plan was to wait until tax returns next spring, but they offered to cover the cost of our vacation together allowing me to have the surgery so soon!

How did I get so lucky? I have unbelievable support from my family and friends. I couldn't do this without them. I know that they love me regardless of what size I am. They do not love me any more or less because of my weight - they just want me to be healthy and happy. They are such a blessing to me.

Finally!

Back down the full 20lbs and then some! I've been to Curves 3 times this week (everyday since we've joined) and I really think it is helping. The entire time I am on a machine all I can think is "get rid of flabby skin, get rid of flabby skin" and it makes me work even harder...

I Have Owned It...

OK. I am owning it. Throwing it out there. Proclaiming it to the world. I have gained weight. There I said it. Not only did I say it, but I have posted it in the sidebar. There. Done.

On the up: I had gained 5 on vacation and now I am only up 1.2lbs :) Baby steps!

Somebody's lyin'

So I joined Curves today. One of the things I was looking forward to was being measured. Weird, I know. But I haven't taken my measurements since the day of surgery and I am dying to find out what the new numbers are!

So according to the lady at Curves I am down in all areas, except my arms. Maybe I am imagining things, but I think my arms are smaller. My shirt sleeves are looser - I've gone down a size for cryin' out loud! I know not everyone measures the same. So who do I believe? Is the Curves lady's measurements higher than the hospital's?

I have decided that I am going with that. The lady at Curves measures bigger than the hospital. With that in mind...

I am down in all areas! YES! (Isn't it great how I can twist things to work in my favor? It's a gift.)

The Vacation is OVER

So I went on solid foods and then headed to Rocky Point, Mexico for 6 days...and gained 5 pounds. Notice that I did not post my weight on the sidebar. I figure - 'oh well' at least I know I can lose it.

I think the problem came from the choices of food. I didn't ever order my own meal, I just ate off of everybody's plate - a shrimp here, a shrimp there. So my week consisted of lots and lots of fried shrimp. Coconut fried shrimp, deep fried shrimp, fried shrimp in orange sauce. All yummy. All fried. As of yesterday (one day back) I had dropped 3 of the 5. Whew. Back on target.

Early next week I am joining Curves. So let the workout begin!

Eighteen

Size 18. 1-8. 18!!!!!! OK let me be 100% totally honest. I went to the store to buy a couple pair of elastic waistband pants because all of my pants hang off of me. I have to practically hold them up with one hand all day long - so I needed a few new pairs. I decided to go with elastic waists so that they will still fit in the next month or two. And I bought size 18-22. I can't even remember the last time I put on this size and it fit.

Granted they were at Lane Bryant. They were actually a 18-22 (not just an 18) but that totally counts!

My latest weigh-in shows that I am down 18lbs. I am in a size 18!!!!!!

Bored.

I am bored. Bored. Bored. Bored - with my food options. Let's just review what it is that I eat. An egg, cottage cheese, V8, water. That's it. All day, every day!

Sure, I have more options. I could have boiled pureed vegetables - no thanks. I could make myself another batch of cream soup - no thanks. I could eat applesauce - well, I might actually do that today, just to 'spice things up'. It has been 3 days since my last meal of applesauce - maybe I'll give it a go...again.

We were in a rush last night and had like 30 minutes between one activity and the next to eat dinner, so we stopped for fast food. In-and-Out Burger to be exact, yummy! Well, I can't eat that. So after dropping the kids at their next destination, I went to Taco Bell and ordered pintos and cheese. Pintos and Cheese? Did you even know that they sold them? Probably not. Well, I got a side of pintos and cheese and one of those Fruitista's. It is like a mango slushy. Good right? Nope. The beans were - eatable. The Fruitista - not at all, yuck! So much for fast food.

I am leaving for vacation on Sunday. My nurse told me that I could go ahead and try solids then (6 days early). So I should be grateful right? I can make it until Sunday. I can make it until Sunday. I can make it until Sunday...

On the bright side - I am down another pound! Woo Hoo! Maybe the pintos and cheese are worth it after all.

Twice in one day?

OK, ok, I know blogging twice in one day. It must be something really important. Well my friends it is...

I have found the most delicious treat. Golden Spoon Frozen Yogurt. I have had it before but now that I am on this new track in my life (and not on solids yet), I need something yummy. I NEED A TREAT!

So for FHE we went to Golden Spoon and I got Peanut Butter Cup. It tastes like real Reese's - yum! AND it is good for you! I get the mini and it has 88 calories, NO fat, +3 grams protein - YEAH BABY!

I got a quart to go... (hey it was on sale for $3.99 and it will last me at least a week!) Woo Hoo!

A New Phase

Technically, I am not on the third and final phase until Oct. 1. But the nurse said that I could eat solids the week of my vacation (about 5 days early) so I decided to start this phase early as well. This will give my body a whole week to get used to these types of food before moving on to solids.

I had an egg for breakfast! A REAL EGG! Not a pureed egg, or boiled and smashed egg - but a real scrambled egg. Fancy huh? I ate 1 scrambled egg and about 4 cubes of watermelon. REAL FOOD! It was delicious! I am totally encouraged because my paperwork says that some people have trouble with eggs and I totally did not. It was easy to eat - no problems at all! Yippe-Skippy!

I am pretty much staying the same weight wise. I go up and down a few ounces - but not much change. I was told that the normal person loses between 10 and 20 lbs in the first 30 days. I am down 17ish. Right on target. I have been told that some people don't lose any more weight until their first fill. I am not sure if those people were really exercising...so my hope is that once I can get to the gym (after vacation) I will continue to lose. I really feel like my fill is in a good place right now. I can eat - but not too much. I feel satisfied easily and that is key.

With the new phase comes new eating habits. In the past few weeks, I have been eating every 2-3 hours. Now I begin to break it into 3 meals with only clear liquids in between. I must eat until I am full at each meal. Sounds easier that it is.

Friday night I went out to dinner (my first time since surgery) and had a cup of cream cheese potato soup from the Wildflower Bread Company. It was yummylicious! I had eaten about 1/2 of the cup when I told Greg that I thought I could finish the whole bowl and perhaps I would need a fill sooner than I thought. Then I ate another bite... Man that one bite pushed me over the edge. I was full - full. Couldn't shove in another bite if I wanted to - full. In one bite! I think I need to listen to my body better. Perhaps eat even slower. I already feel like I am eating slow, but I was told that the portion that I eat should take me as long to consume as it takes everyone else at the table to complete their meal. I was done and the others still had like 1/4 of their meals left. So I need to s-l-o-w down even more... wow.

I am excited to be almost complete with my phases and to be moving on to my new life. It is defiantly a learning process and I can't wait to learn!

Phase 2

Yesterday was rough. Lots of pain in my tummy - but much easier to deal with than the cramps in my legs on Saturday night. I wonder if I was slightly dehydrated on Saturday. I have a sensitive gag reflex and Saturday morning when I started gagging, it went straight to vomiting. Well, what would have been vomiting IF I had eaten something. Thank goodness for empty stomachs! As a result of that, I didn't have much room for food (or drink) on Saturday. I maybe had 12oz all day.

Sunday was better. There was some discomfort in the top of my tummy just under my rib cage and where my port is. My port area was slightly warm to the touch and extremely sensitive. Weird.

All is better today. Still a little sensitive at the base of my ribs - but all else is gone.

My body is responding well to Phase 2. I was able to add creamed soups, yogurt, applesauce, watermelon, milk and pudding yesterday. YIPPEE!!! Real food! I made some delicious cream of potato soup and it was heaven! I have applesauce for breakfast (only about 1/4 cup) and it is divine!

I feel less run-down. I feel more like myself. AND-AND-AND...Ready for it? I am DOWN OVER 15lbs! It is a great day!

Sleeping Beauty

I haven't written in a few days...I am just so tired. I am not sure what to blame it on.

#1: I have been busy. Busier than I have been since the surgery and perhaps my body is still trying to heal.

#2: I have not been so good at taking my anti-anxiety medication for the past 3 weeks. I began taking it regularly about 5 days ago. It always takes my body time to adjust (or re-adjust) to my medicine. I know, it was a stupid thing to do.

#3: Perhaps my body is adjusting to the amount of calories that I am taking in. Heaven only knows how much I was eating before - and now I am living on 600-800 calories. My body may be trying to conserve energy to make up the difference.

Maybe, it's all three. Who knows? I got a great nap out of it today.

Too Much!

Yesterday I did too much. By too much I mean I walked into Hi Health (parked just in front of the doors), waited in the car while Shiela went into GNC and then walked into Jamba Juice. By last night my body was aching. I tried to take some Advil for the oncoming pain (2) and it barely touched the surface. But after the Advil - I couldn't take any prescription pain meds. Annoying.

Today I am exhausted. I napped this morning after getting the kids off to school and it helped. It is somewhat discouraging after thinking that I was really on the way up. Whatever, less than a week ago surgeons had tools in my belly - so really in the scheme of things, I am doing pretty good!

My hip-hip-hooray for today is the fact that I was down 2.6lbs this morning! Last night I was somewhat discouraged when I weighed and was exactly the same. But I am not keeping track of the night weighs - only the morning! And by this morning my body was lighter! Hip-Hip-Hooray!

I made it!!!

I made it! Believe it or not, I went to Jamie's house last night and resisted the most delicious enchiladas. The moment I stepped into her house the aroma hit me...yummmmmmm. But I came with my lunch box full of homemade broth (so much better than the canned stuff), sugar-free lime jell-o, and Isopure fruit punch. Of course it wasn't as delicious as the enchiladas, but it was fine. It helped tremendously to have Shiela there to share in my misery. She and I ate our broth and enjoyed sharing stories about our surgery with our best friends.
I am sure as time goes on it will get harder - at least until we can eat solids. The newness will wear off and the cravings will increase. Baby steps!
Today is a good day! I slept entirely through the night (woo who!). I weighed myself last night and was at 275.8 down 5.6lbs since Thursday prior to surgery. This morning I weighed myself again, of course, and am down another 0.4lbs - OVERNIGHT! YES! So this morning I sit at 275.6lbs. 275! That my friends is amazing! I have been 283 for at least a year. I lost a few pounds just before surgery (doing the protein diet), but to be down 5.8lbs in 5 days. It is totally worth it!
Today I get to start the second part of Phase 1, that adds all types of juice (including vegetable). I can't wait to have some tomato juice. The thickness will taste like real food! I finally feel like my tummy can handle fruit juice (we've been allowed apple, grape or cranberry all along) so I bought some Naked Juice - delicious, and I think we can go to Jamba Juice and order off of the non-dairy menu!
It is a good day!

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Today I am back into the swing of things. My responsibilities have resumed. I got kids up and ready for school. I didn't make breakfast, they ate cereal, which is fine. I am not quite ready for that kind of action just yet. But driving - yikes! My tummy hurts when it is jostled and there are a ton of speed bumps and dips between here and the school. Of course, I have to make 2 trips back-to-back. Wearing a bra is not fun at all, but SITTING and wearing a bra - nearly impossible. It puts entirely too much pressure on my insides.
So tonight at my son's soccer game, we are in charge of drinks. We need to bring about 50 bottles of water and Gatorade (it's still really hot at 4:30 in AZ). We signed up for that little task, actually my hubby signed up - not realizing the date was sooo close to my surgery. So he is going to have to take care of that one.
We have also been invited to our friends home tonight for Family Home Evening. There is a group of us, my kids call us the Mormon Gang, that always get together and we have a grand time. Well tonight it's enchiladas at Jamie's. She said it is a "Bring your own Broth" kind of party. So Shiela and I will BYOB. Yeah...
I am looking forward to the visit. Wish me luck as I try and mentally (and somewhat physically) make it through our first dinner together.
By the way - I am down 1.4lbs this morning! WHOO-HOO!!!

I'm HUNGRY!!!

Today I'm HUNGRY! My friend says she eats like 3 bites of broth and she feels full "like Thanksgiving dinner full". Not me. My tummy is growling! And growling hurts!

I read though my information and found that if I am feeling hungry - eat more protein. Well, the doctor recommends that I get 60-70grams of protein daily. And for the past few days I have MAYBE gotten 10 grams. So my husband and I went to the store (Hi Health) and got some Isopure drinks. These premixed drinks look like Kool-aid and have 40 grams of protein per bottle. They came highly recommended by my doctor. At $3.95 each, I only got 2 - just in case they were yucky. They are delicious! Well I have only tried the grape - but yummy! It has a slightly dry feel, similar to cranberry juice, but you don't taste any chalky protein powder. I had about 3 oz of the Isopure and 1/2 a can of chicken broth and I felt FULL!!! HOORAY!

I did get hungry again about 2 hours later - took a few drinks of the Isopure - and wah-la! Full again! Protein makes a HUGE difference. I had tried the Kiwi-Strawberry Kellogg's Protein water and it was delicious too, but it only has 5 grams of protein in the same amount of liquid. So really - no comparison.

My body feels better today as well. We went to Hi Health, Costco (for a new scale) and GNC and I was exhausted and my belly hurt from the jostling around from walking and the car ride. But it was doable. I did come home and take a pain pill (the first one since 9pm last night) and am feeling great.

The only downside of feeling great - I want to eat. I had this brilliant idea last week (keep in mind I was on all protein at the time) to buy a spiral ham for my husband to make for him and the kids while I am on clear liquids. I thought they could eat dinner on it and have sandwiches, good idea right? Not so much. Hubby is smoking the ham (has been for 3 hours now) and it smells like heaven. He comes in from checking on it and I just want to lick him. He suggested that I just chew it and spit it out. I honestly thought about it, but I am afraid it might just make me crave it even more. I don't really feel hungry. I just have this need to chew food. I am going to try a piece of gum. So not the same. Wish me luck.

I have saved the best news for last - I am losing weight! I weighed in at the hospital Thursday at 281.4, today I am 278.6 - 2.8 lbs in 4 days!!! It's working and it's all worth it!

A Brand New Day!

Saturday was better. After sleeping in my recliner (I missed the flexibility of the hospital bed) I was able to walk around more and had an ok day. I napped often and kept taking the pain medicine every 6 hours.

The pain medicine is a pill that dissolves under your tongue. Easy right? NOPE. This thing NEVER dissolves! And the horrible minty taste that they added to try and mask the medicine taste was not such a good idea. I have sores under my tongue where the pill sits. I tried to be sure to place is in a new place every time and would drink water with it to help the dissolving process. I also have a sore on the top of my mouth in the very back by my tonsils. I think that perhaps the tube that they stuck down my throat during surgery, scratched me on the way in or out. Nevertheless, it has turned into a cancer. Ouchie again. I have been gargling with Orajel mouthwash. It is specifically made for cankers and mouth sores. It is a life saver. The sore spots under my tongue are gone and the canker is almost healed.

Saturday was the day to remove the tape covering my stitches. So after showering I took them off. Surprisingly it didn't hurt at all. I thought that it might pull at the stitches - nope. Not at all. There are 5 insicions. The spot where the band went in and the port are slightly longer (about 1 1/4 inch). The other spots are 1/2 inch or smaller. My belly button is also glued shut. weird. Everything looks healthy and not as gruesome as I had thought that it would. The iodine that covers my entire abdomen is permantly there, I think. I tried to scrub it off. It may take a week to entirely disappear.

I did it!

Thursday was my surgery. I was not really prepared for the ammount of pain that it consisted of. I thought, "laproscopic, easy" - wrong. Not so easy. I was in incredible pain. I desperatly needed to get up and move around. The other two ladies who were banded just before and after me were both up and moving around that evening. Not me. I could get to the bathroom and back. I was dizzy and nausiated anytime I stood up for too long. But after a great couple of shots into my IV (for pain and nausea) and a sleeping pill. I awoke at 3am ready to walk the halls. This helped to release some of the gas thus relieving some of the pain in my abdomen.

Friday was slightly better - but I seemed to be a day behind in the recovery proccess compared to the other 2 patients. I am slow to recover (my husband reminded me of my last surgery - I took me about 2 days longer to be 'up and moving' than most people). So, it is what it is.

Immediatly after surgery we were given all the ice chips and water we wanted/were able to get down. I thouroughly enjoyed the ice chips. Chewing was satisfiying. And I drank about half the bottle of water. Friday morning was the first "real" meal. It consisted of chicken broth, grape juice (I am not a tea drinker), apple juice and pineapple jell-o. I was not fearful of eating as I had absolutely no trouble drinking the water the day before. My friend, however, was scared to swallow the jell-o. After much bravery - she realised that everything goes down easily. The juice made my stomach hurt. I'm not sure if it was too acdic or what, but it felt like pouring lemon juice on an open wound. ouchie! So I decided to wait on the juice for awhile.

Lunch on Friday consisted of the same thing. I again tried the juice and got the same painful results. Everything else went down easily. We left for home on Friday after lunch. The nurse was surprised that we were leaving and wanted to be sure the doctor knew. After the OK we headed out. I wasn't feeling so hot, so she gave me some pain killer and sleepy medicine in my IV for the drive home. I thought that I would sleep the entire time. Wrong.

It was the worst ever! About half way through I wasn't sure if I wanted to even get back into the car my tummy hurt so bad. We stopped a lot and walked. By the time I got home I thought my insides were going to burst. I totally thought I would be ok - and my friend was! She slept most of the way (and she didn't even have any extra meds). I made the decision to go ahead and come home...not my best decision to date.

Why?

I am begining the blog to document my weightloss journey. I am heading to Mexico today and will undergo Lap Band surgery Thursday. Why Mexico? Well, first and foremost - I can afford it there. Secondly, I know 5 people that have had this same procedure done by this particular doctor in this specific facility. Finally, the doctor is American Board Certified... so why not?

I am fortunate that I have my best friend joining me in the endavor. She will also be banded - same time, same place. I will have a buddy in this process. Priceless.

The past 7 days have been rough. The pre-op diet consists of high protein (minimum of 60-70g) low carbs (maximum 20-30g). I have felt sluggish, absent minded, iritable, whiny and hungry. My friend on the other hand, has felt fantastic. She has more energy, feels less bloated and is losing weight already. Not fair...

My husband is so/so supportive. Bless his skinny little heart - he is trying, but unless you've been overweight, you can not truly understand. He is learning not to ask me if I want some ice-cream and then wave his bowl in my face and tell me how yummy it is. - not funny. There is no ill intent - just lack of understanding. His diet experience consists of cutting out the cookies/junk food that he eats standing in the kitchen watching me make dinner. He can drop 10lbs just by wishing it. Whatever...different bodies.

I am filled with anxiety today. Hubby is stressed about money (I knew he would be - he is kind of like that) and trying to fight with me about it. Not interested. You must understand my husband. He works really hard. We have lots of nice things. He loves his family and desires to take care of them. To him, the best way is to be financally secure. Great guy, huh? I am lucky. To pay for my surgery, we have gotten a cash advance on our credit card and plan to pay it in full Feburary-ish when our tax return comes in. This is completly do-able for our situation. However, over the last couple of weeks (of course) several unexpected things have come up. Soccer fees, reloading of lunch account funds, some expensive perscriptions - just to name a few. This has and always will stress my husband out, add the surgery cost on top and you've got a recipe for disaster. Needless to say, he is on edge. He needs to argue it out. He needs for me to be apologitic and go over the budget with him and reinterate that I understand and am willing to be on a tighter budget for the next few weeks. I understand that is what he needs, and I will typically comply. But not right now.

I asked him to please take his stress and keep it to himself. I just can not deal with this today (or yesterday). I feel like I am on the verge of tears. I suffer from anxiety anyway - add the normal anxiety of pre-surgery jitters and it is not so pretty. I have taken some Xanax. I realise that my diet over the past week truly plays a role in this magnified anxiety.

I am really excited. I am ready for the change that my life has needed. I grew up fit. I was on a competitive cheerleading squad in High School and went to college on a Dance Team scholarship...in shape. I got married at 140 (I'm 5'6") and remained about that even after giving birth to by 2 children. I gained a little weight when my husband and I moved to Minnesota (it's too cold to do anything other than stay inside and bake), but my big gain has been since moving to Arizona in 2000. I went from about 160 to 283 in 8 years. Granted I have PCOS (polysistic ovarian syndrome) which I have read fuels your weight gain, and went through some really tough depression. But reguardless how I have gotten here - I am not happy.

I have disks out in my back. My doctor encouraged me to lose 50 pounds. Right. I can't excersise. My knees and ankles creak and crack, my feet hurt if I walk too long. I am out of breath, out of shape, and out of patience! I am ready to live my life to it's fullest. Ready to hike with my kids. Ready to get out there and kick the ball around, shoot hoops, play softball. I want to live! Not just observe. I am ready.

Wish me luck!